Career Change?

Here is a photo of Mason reaching up to hold onto Wyatt during a walk. He pretty much always wants to hold his hand when they are both in their stroller

I have always wanted to stay at home with my kids to capture these kind of moments...but my salary and benefits have been safe and needed. When i was on maternity leave with Mason i loved hugging and holding him and couldn't imagine leaving him with someone else so i could work. But i did. And now that i am home with Wyatt and Mason i love the cuddling and hugging - but i love seeing mason interact with his world, i love having fun with him, and i love building a relationship with him that honestly i can't do in the same way on just the weekends. I can't make what I make working at a restaurant at night, or most other hourly jobs so I have felt a bit trapped for the past year of so doing what i do. Kurt could find a more stable job - but we both believe in Real Estate turning around - his earning power is limitless potentially, and giving that up for a temporary change doesn't seem to make sense.

For a number of reasons I am not going to be returning to my old job when i go back to work. That gives me some flexibility in timing about when i go back to work, it has also given me a chance to explore other options.

Since i gave birth to Mason I have wanted to be a doula (birth attendant or coach). For both of my birth experiences my doula Kari made my birth experience possible. She has become a friend, and member of my family as only someone who has gone through that with me can. I want to be able to provide that experience to other women. She let me push my body past what i was convinced were it's limits. She provided comfort, compassion - and i could trust her. But, this is not a sales pitch for her :)

So the question is do I return to what I was doing but for a different company - a job and industry that I have lost a passion for and have become a bit disillusioned with but that provides for my family, or take a leap for a change?

I think that answer is both. I will do the training to be a doula, and work "on call" in my previous field as much as i need to to pay the bills. With the hope that as the doula work increases that my on call status could decrease. Being a doula you only work a few nights/days a week depending on how many clients you take and how long their births take.

But a change is scary, and letting go of a career that I was very good at is a bit daunting. But to be able to spend time with my kids - that is so worth it!