So let's be brutally honest.... I gained 50 pounds with mason from start to finish. In the beginning of the pregnancy i lost weight because i was so sick. so really i gained close to 60 pounds. i don't know how it happened...i didn't eat anything but soy milk protein shakes hardly. i had lost 30 pounds by the time i got home from the hospital. i was lucky if i ate 2 meals a day while i was pregnant. but it happened none the less. More brutal honesty, at my skinniest ever i was a size 4. This happened exactly twice in my life...when i was crazy depressed after a break up and went to the gym 2 hours a day every day, and also for my wedding.
For a month after Mason was born i wore my maternity clothes. But after 4 weeks i just couldn't handle the elastic anymore - oh yes they are comfortable, but i needed to feel human again, and they were just getting TOO big. But being frugal i figured i should try on my old clothes "just to see" before i went and spent money. well here is a lesson....if you have gained 60 pounds and are in the process of loosing it...don't "just see" with your tiniest clothes first. i started with clothes i had worn on my honeymoon. i don't know what i was thinking. Kurt came in during this process and laughed at me, i couldn't get the pants up to my hips. it was funny in a sad sort of way. i was able to salvage some shirts and i think sweat pants. even the jackets and most shirts wouldn't fit over my enormous breast feeding self. So off to gap outlet to find clothes that would fit. i had no idea where to start...i think i brought in like 4 sizes to the dressing room. i knew i was not a size 4 LOL...but not much beyond that. i settled on some VERY tight size 10 pants and size LARGE tops. this was humbling. i think i got 2 pairs of pants total, and 4 t-shirts. i refused to invest in this new size.
Currently 10's didn't fit, they are too big! so i decided to weigh myself. I was back at my pre-baby weight....but my body is just not the same....i Have padding on my hips that i never had before, and the flab just seems to be everywhere. I never had a tight body - but i also never jiggled before quite like this. I am not sad about these things, they are just facts of the current state of being. So i am now in size 8 jeans - barely. it is a tight fit, and they must be air dried! Ok, and being honest - there is a bit of me hanging over the tops. but i am in them.
Today i am going through all my pre-pregnancy looking for a red turtle neck to wear to the city on Saturday. and i am finding all my cute size 4 and 6 clothes. And i am coming to the conclusion that i will probably not wear them again. I just don't have the time that it required to be a size 4....and the 6's - well....i don't have the time for those either. i know i know, it took 10 months to get this way, and it will take that long to get back to normal, and it has only been 4 months. But it isn't just the number of pounds that i am....my body truly is different than ever before. it did the task of a century in carrying and birthing a human - a think that is to be awarded. But it will be awarded in non size 6 ways. Besides, the time and effort that it would take to get to those sizes would be ruined when i have the next baby. That said i just can't bare to part with them. so we have 4 piles of sorting going on:
1. I can wear you now
2. i can't wear you and/or don't want to anyway- you are getting donated
3. Size 6 to be saved "just in case"
4. Size 4 to be saved "in case of body miracle".
you will be proud to know that i did not try on the sizes i knew would not fit -but just put them straight into their correct bin home for safe keeping - just in case.
For a month after Mason was born i wore my maternity clothes. But after 4 weeks i just couldn't handle the elastic anymore - oh yes they are comfortable, but i needed to feel human again, and they were just getting TOO big. But being frugal i figured i should try on my old clothes "just to see" before i went and spent money. well here is a lesson....if you have gained 60 pounds and are in the process of loosing it...don't "just see" with your tiniest clothes first. i started with clothes i had worn on my honeymoon. i don't know what i was thinking. Kurt came in during this process and laughed at me, i couldn't get the pants up to my hips. it was funny in a sad sort of way. i was able to salvage some shirts and i think sweat pants. even the jackets and most shirts wouldn't fit over my enormous breast feeding self. So off to gap outlet to find clothes that would fit. i had no idea where to start...i think i brought in like 4 sizes to the dressing room. i knew i was not a size 4 LOL...but not much beyond that. i settled on some VERY tight size 10 pants and size LARGE tops. this was humbling. i think i got 2 pairs of pants total, and 4 t-shirts. i refused to invest in this new size.
Currently 10's didn't fit, they are too big! so i decided to weigh myself. I was back at my pre-baby weight....but my body is just not the same....i Have padding on my hips that i never had before, and the flab just seems to be everywhere. I never had a tight body - but i also never jiggled before quite like this. I am not sad about these things, they are just facts of the current state of being. So i am now in size 8 jeans - barely. it is a tight fit, and they must be air dried! Ok, and being honest - there is a bit of me hanging over the tops. but i am in them.
Today i am going through all my pre-pregnancy looking for a red turtle neck to wear to the city on Saturday. and i am finding all my cute size 4 and 6 clothes. And i am coming to the conclusion that i will probably not wear them again. I just don't have the time that it required to be a size 4....and the 6's - well....i don't have the time for those either. i know i know, it took 10 months to get this way, and it will take that long to get back to normal, and it has only been 4 months. But it isn't just the number of pounds that i am....my body truly is different than ever before. it did the task of a century in carrying and birthing a human - a think that is to be awarded. But it will be awarded in non size 6 ways. Besides, the time and effort that it would take to get to those sizes would be ruined when i have the next baby. That said i just can't bare to part with them. so we have 4 piles of sorting going on:
1. I can wear you now
2. i can't wear you and/or don't want to anyway- you are getting donated
3. Size 6 to be saved "just in case"
4. Size 4 to be saved "in case of body miracle".
you will be proud to know that i did not try on the sizes i knew would not fit -but just put them straight into their correct bin home for safe keeping - just in case.
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